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Monday, September 6, 2010
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Flirting Online
Cameron Keene, Online Dating & Relationship Expert
Part of the joy of dating is flirting. The act of building suspense, tantalizing the other person and doing the endless, romantic dance of flirtation is heady stuff. But flirting can be difficult to do when you’re exchanging emails and getting together in chat rooms instead of in real life. You may not be able to wink, brush up against his body or give her a suggestive little hug, but you can certainly flirt online once you know how.

In fact, most online dating services give you the perfect way to flirt in order to get things started. Sending an online “wink” or “poke” is easy to do with just a click of the mouse, and signals to the other person you’re interested. Anyone who receives one of these “I’m interested” notes will be flattered and intrigued – the true goal of flirting.

Once you start emailing each other, keep your emails light-hearted and fun and focus on them, not you. Asking questions about their profile is a good way to get started. It tells them you’ve read their profile and were paying attention to what they had to say. Complimenting them on an achievement or asking their opinion about some aspect of their work or hobbies is a great way to flirt. People enjoy talking to someone who is interested in the things they love.

As things progress, don’t be afraid to toss in the occasional suggestive comment, but keep it flattering and mysterious. Being too vulgar or obvious can be a real turn-off. “I was thinking about you today. I could picture your smile and wished I could see it in person,” is so much more intriguing than, “I dreamed about jumping your bones last night.”

Sharing a story about your day is another wonderful flirtation technique, particularly if you start with, “Something happened today and I just couldn’t wait to share it with you…” You’re inviting them into your world, and that feels great.

Keep in mind that flirting shouldn’t be too heavy-handed or overwhelming. It’s all about the tease, so don’t start things off by constantly emailing. Giving compliments too often is also a bad idea – it cheapens their value. Let them know you’re interested, but that your life doesn’t revolve around them. Reveal yourself slowly, over time. A few tantalizing hints about your own interests will be far more interesting than an email that reads like your personal biography. Give a little bit, then pull back and wait for a response.

You’ll soon realize that cyber flirting can be just as exciting as real world flirting. If you do it right, you’ll have the chance to flirt face-to-face soon enough!
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